It has felt like a process that has taken time. One that i have called a life of learning, trial and error but in honesty it has been more searching for something that wasn’t available in the images of people, relationships, situations, events and circumstances where i was looking.
The world i was perceiving was never going to be the place of natural ease and happiness where connection with something more and greater than this self was permanent.
i had heard it was within, inside, but i interpreted that to mean in the thoughts, body and form that i believed i was. i never found it there.
i heard others had found it, were it and so i searched and checked them out only to discover their thoughts, body and forms were as flippant and temporary as mine. i never found it there.
If this illusive permanence of connection wasn’t in i and wasn’t in others and the world i was perceiving, what was the issue blocking the ease and happiness of completion?
It was always available and right there staring at me with the imaginary face and traits i believed was me. i had been working from, inspired by, and loyal to a fault in the “belief in who and what i was.”
The “who and what of thought, image, body and form i believed i was,” were simply illusory images bouncing around in nothingness, hoping to be taken seriously in the dream world of i.
But if i wasn’t the i imagined, WHAT HAD BEEN NOTICING THIS DREAM OF NOTHINGNESS ALL ALONG, WITH SUCH CONSISTENCY AND CLARITY?
AN AWARENESS BEYOND, BEFORE, BEHIND, DURING AND AFTER ANY APPEARANCE OR IMAGE DISTRACTING FROM THE PERMANENCE OF HAPPINESS.
AN AWARENESS THAT IS ETERNAL, FORMLESS, UNIMAGINABLE AND CONSISTENTLY RECOGNIZABLE IN ITS AVAILABILITY.
RUBBING SHOULDERS WITH THIS AWARENESS OF PERMANENT EASE AND HAPPINESS BEYOND i, BEATS THE HECK OUT OF PRETENDING TO BE ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN A GAME OF NOTHINGNESS. 💕
